The last few days I have felt an ability to move more freely and do more things on my own. I showered on my own. Dressed myself. I even drove to the mailbox half mile down the road to get a package! I had no idea what to expect after surgery, really. Yet, when I woke this morning, I could tell that something was not right.
The right-side back pain has returned in full-force. This is likely hernia-related pain that is allegedly normal to continue for 2-3 weeks post-surgery. And, there is relatively severe abdominal cramping in my lower pelvic area, along with some stabbing pain beneath my left-side incision. I took a dosage of tramadol that the follow-up gynecologist provided, as I went to the local, satellite office for the wound-check on Thursday and told her about my continuing pain concerns.Extremely sweet physician who hubs and I will likely continue to see for reproductive care since she is so close in comparison to the Jacksonville office.
However, the new spike in pain is causing me concern since I declined the doctor’s recommendation to take FMLA through February 8th and told her I wanted to return on Monday. I was not really sure what to expect after the surgery except from what I had read only. The main reason I want to return is for professional reasons – being out of work for so long makes me feel like I’ll be seen as weak and there is a large pre-trial docket call mid-week that is important for me to attend – but I am now worrying that my body is not ready. Thankfully, I have an outstanding network of colleagues who have already gone above and beyond to help me pre-surgery and I know will be there to hold my hand if I need some help in my first weeks back. More than likely I’ll just need to sit more often and take breaks.
My hubs has been so amazing throughout this whole process and I think subconciously I have been rushing my recovery to get back to normal so he can have a “normal” wife. He deserves that. He is so kind, generous, funny, caring, everything I could every imagine, and I feel that I let him down every single day that I am in pain because I cannot be the who he thought he was marrying. He has gotten in over his head. Although he says he can handle it and he loves me no matter what – for better or for worse – there is always a voice in my head telling me that I somehow tricked him into this and that he could do better.
I want to be better for him.
Oh, and I got a cold. Sniffles, runny nose, headache, whole nine yards! Let’s hope he doesn’t get it, too, because we all know how bad man colds are … they basically die.
Stay Connected to One L of a Journey!
>> Want extra content + fun rewards? Purchase a subscription through Patreon today! <<