health

Endometriosis Depression: Feeling Alone in the Pain

Worthless. I feel completely worthless. Rationally, I know this is not true. In this moment, this moment that has extended the last hour, I feel I could disappear and no one would notice. I could slip away in the night and everyone would move on with their lives as if nothing happened. Eventually people would think, “I haven’t see her in awhile, that’s weird.” but then immediately go back to his or her ordinary life.  In these moments, even my husband feels like a stranger. I feel like he stares right through me with eyes colder than a glacier. Again, none of this is rational. It is simply how I feel. Continue reading “Endometriosis Depression: Feeling Alone in the Pain”

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Moments of accomplishment

A few years ago I remember watching the longer version of this video and thinking I cannot wait to become a Public Defender. Here I am now, nearly 18 months into my career as one and I’m reigniting my passion.

The injustice I see each day is astonishing. The number of people who have given up on the system, people… Themselves… It’s heartbreaking at times.  

Yet, when I have days I like I had today when I can rest my head on my pillow knowing I fought as hard as I could. I paid every ounce of what I have on the court today (literally).

I consoled a crying wife.

I reassured an overly anxious client.

I helped a mother get another chance.

I fought for a person to be judged by who he is now, not who he was in the past.

And, hopefully, I influenced one person enough so I will not encounter him or her in orange again. 

Public defender
I’m not naive.  I understand most of the time arrested people are arrested for a reason, but I believe in God. God places people in our lives for reasons… I believe and learn from the Bible that each person is capable of change, so I am not the person to judge anyone for one, or three mistakes when I know how close I’ve been in my life to sitting where my clients sit.

If you stop and think about your daily life, most people (I find this a fair generalization, feel free to disagree) yet most people commit a crime each and every single day.

Have you logged in to your parents Netflix or Hulu today?  Felony.

Did you drive more than fifteen miles over the speed limit? Misdemeanor -reckless driving. 

How about cohabitating with a partner before marriage? Most states still have this listed as a criminal offense, although it is rarely charged.

My point being that this video shows you that there are government/court appointed attorneys who care very deeply. We do not all judge people based on the offense charged nor should you.

At the heart of it all there is a thin, ever eroding line seperating each of us from the other; we are all the same.

Now, I have to go log into my friend’s hbo go account to catch up on “Insecure”…

health

Clearing Out My Closet for a Fresh Start

Already three days into 2017 and I have not done a resolutions post yet? I do not know if I am going to do one this year, honestly. My resolutions do not change from year to year: be healthier, be kinder, pay down debt, appreciate loved ones more. The same year after year with the end goal always being to improve on the year prior. If I set anything too hard lined, I know that the goals will go out the window by February 1st, as do most other peoples because there is no plan put into place. We haphazardly say “I will do X” and then start doing whatever X is without a clear plan set out, and when you fail to plan… you plan to fail.  Continue reading “Clearing Out My Closet for a Fresh Start”

health

Must Love Dogs: Handling Marriage with a Non-Dog Lover

truedogquoteMust love dogs. I always laughed at the movie because I thought everyone in their right mind loved dogs. I mean, everyone does, right? I went through most of my life believing it.

Then I met the man who would become my husband. Continue reading “Must Love Dogs: Handling Marriage with a Non-Dog Lover”

health

How to Maintain Your Relationships when You Have Chronic Pain or Endometriosis

Yesterday I discussed my struggle with maintaining a balance with my relationships and current chronic pain relapse, so – just like every nerd does – I did some research and came up with EIGHT (8) tips. Continue reading “How to Maintain Your Relationships when You Have Chronic Pain or Endometriosis”

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Pause to Exhale

Today was a good day. The last few weeks have not afforded many good days so this was a pleasant treat. I was able to push through my pain to actually enjoy my husband and be present for the day we had together. It was a good day. Continue reading “Pause to Exhale”

Back from the Ashes

Under Construction: Figuring Out This Crazy Thing Called Life

under-constructionOver the next few weeks will you will notice changes to this website. I am working on revamping this site to better  fit my personality, be user-friendly and just look better. Continue reading “Under Construction: Figuring Out This Crazy Thing Called Life”